


I ask if you're still there

by Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle)



Series: Freak outs and blue balls [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bearded Steve Rogers, Community: cap_ironman, Facial Shaving, M/M, POV Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Stony Bingo, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, and then Beardless Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 03:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadisticsparkle/pseuds/Sadisticsparkle
Summary: Once upon a time, Tony's face boasted an iconic goatee, the kind of goatee that gets inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Now, like most of Tony's life and most of the universe - not Tony's finest month -, it's a wreck lost in a sea of stubble. Not his fault, really. It's hard to sit down and shave properly when you're trekking across space with the unholy mix of a blender and an angry Roomba.Or: Tony fixes his beard, Steve's and maybe something else.





	I ask if you're still there

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Without Fear square in my STONY Bingo 2018.

Once upon a time, Tony's face boasted an iconic goatee, the kind of goatee that gets inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Now, like most of Tony's life and most of the universe - not Tony's finest month -, it's a wreck lost in a sea of stubble. Not his fault, really. It's hard to sit down and shave properly when you're trekking across space with the unholy mix of a blender and an angry Roomba.

He tilts his head and looks at his neck. Damn, he's even got a neckbeard now. It goes well with his Beaten Up Space Hobo look. He would be screaming that the end is near, but the end has already happened. He's trapped in a sad ‘Where are they now’ epilogue now.

But at least he's home or something like it. He's surrounded by people he didn't think he would see again - or that he would even _want_ to see again -, in a mythical land of wonder and technology that doesn't feel so mythical right now because it's lost its anchor.

It's a weird feeling and weird is good. Weird keeps sad and angry at bay. Weird lets him focus.

Somewhere, deep inside Wakanda, Shuri and Bruce are waiting for him in the labs. They have data and plans and ideas and a burning desire not to think about the people they've lost. He gets it. He shares it.

But first he wants to go back to his signature look. He's not the face in the magazines anymore, the man with the perfect life, but at least he can look the part.

It doesn't take long. He's good at it and they've given him a razor that's frankly amazing. It’s heavy in his hand. That's the part where Wakanda is the most like the future - the small details of the past that have managed to sneak in, but improved and better and sci-fi.

The hallways and the windows are also timeless, a joint between the past and the future. He's walking to the labs when he crosses path with Steve. He flinches, just like he flinched when they met again. Steve hugged him, after the flinch - the unsteady, gripping hug of a drowning man.

Steve's still rocking the hobo look.

He wonders if the Wakandans, in all their wondrous advancement, have come up with a word for the yearning - the hunger - he feels for Steve. Could a word encapsulate wanting to punch somebody and kiss them and shove your dick down their throat and scream yourself raw telling them you hate them and cry all over them and leave them covered with snot?

He can't come with anything, so he figures 'love' will have to do. He loves people all wrong.

'You're… you've shaved,' Steve says. Shoulders hunched. Eyes haunted.

'Wow, you remember the concept.'

Banter's fine. Comfortable. Better than the alternative.

'There wasn't much chance. Plus you know, stealth.'

'I think a hoodie would have been enough.'

'You still keep your razor?'

They used to talk about it, before.  Sleepless nights and faraway mornings discussing the tradition of shaving and arguing about the best method.

'It's back… back in New York. They gave me one. Out of pity, I guess.'

'They have straight razors here?'

'Vibranium ones. Nanite-enhanced vibranium razors. Shave so close I think I gave myself a facial.'

Steve's body goes taut like a doe in front of a hunter and then he speaks. 'I'm tired of the beard. Too much maintenance.'

'You can ask them for one too. Even go to a Wakandan barbershop.'

'Wouldn't trust my own hand. Or a stranger’s.'

'Thought yours was the only one you trusted.'

'Not anymore.'

'So you want me to do it? Is that what this is?'

'Yes.'

There's an abyss of opportunity in that word and Tony can't help but jump.

  

It's the end times and here they are, back at square one. Steve's sitting on a couch in Tony's room. He's determined not to stare around - but Tony has nothing he owns now. A few loaned clothes and some new shoes. Some coffee cups around the room. An armor in his chest and a lot of emptiness everywhere else.

Tony's in the bathroom, back to Steve but staring at him in the mirror. He's not trying to hide it.

He's soaking a towel in hot water. If this is happening, then he's gonna make it the best experience he can. He wrings the towel and struts back.

Steve leans back and Tony looms over him. Steve opens his legs and then Tony puts the towel on Steve's face. He gets a hit of static. Static - that's what their relationship always was. Steve closes his eyes and sinks into the couch, but his breath is shallow and quick. It feels weird but weird's good. Weird's distracting.

The sun shines in through the window and when Tony takes off the towel, Steve's hair glints. Despite the grubby look, there's still some golden in there.

He grabs the shaving gel, puts it in his hand - it's cold - and then his fingers are all over Steve's beard. Steve sinks even more and his lips part. He's breathing steady and deep, now.

'You ready?'

Steve opens his eyes and his look is like a stab through Tony's heart. 'Yes.'

Tony's breath hitches and then Steve closes his eyes again. Tony takes the razor, opens it and pulls Steve's skin taut. The edge of the razor slides down Steve's cheek easily and they get into a rhythm quick. It's like a battle, like when they used to fight together before.

He washes the razor and then turns Steve's head. Steve lets him, not resisting even a tiny bit. He pulls the skin again and the razor slides down and there's not one word of complaint, not one attempt at wrestling control back. Just trust and the warm sun.

Steve's eyes are still closed when Tony does his chin and when he shaves under his nose. Then there's only one spot left. He steps back, away from Steve.

'It's time for the… for the neck.'

With no hesitation, Steve throws his head back and bares his neck. His Adam's apple is bobbing up and down. His heart must be racing.

Tony pulls the skin and then puts the razor's edge on Steve's skin. Steve shivers - the edge is probably cold. When his fingers touch the skin, he realizes he was right - Steve's pulse is fast, but he remains still.

He takes another step forward and Steve's legs widen. There's barely an inch between them now. The razor moves down, caressing Steve's throat. Tony's mouth is dry and his heart is pummeling. They had joked about it, argued about Tony's superior barber abilities. There was a standing bet that Tony could shave Steve like nobody else could. They had never got around to it, before.

It's over quick and before he knows it, Tony's cleaning Steve's face.

'I guess the bet's settled, now,' he says.

Steve sits up and touches his skin. It's weird, to see him clean shaven, but weird is good.

'Uh. You were right.'

The person behind the beard is as unfamiliar as the man that hugged him when he got to Earth - there's this entire chapter of his life Tony doesn't know anything about, a gulf within a gulf of misunderstanding.

And Steve doesn't look younger without it either. He just looks like Steve if he had been two years on the run and then half the universe had disappeared. That is, he looks like crap.

But at least he looks like Captain America instead of like a hobo moonlighting as a ninja, so it's progress.

'Well, you look almost presentable.'

'You didn't miss one spot. You could make this into a career instead of a hobby.'

He turns around and starts cleaning the space. He throws the towel into the laundry basket.

'Post-Apocalyptic Barber. It has a nice ring to it. Doubt we have much use for millionaires right now.'

He still hasn't looked at Steve, but he's sure Steve hasn't moved.

‘We've got tons of use for a hero.'

He's cleaning the razor. It's glimmering. It's new and not his own.

'Yeah, good thing Captain America is back then,' he says.

Steve walks up and leaves. Tony only turns around when he's gone.

 

 They work until late, in the lab. They fight and argue and scream. None of them mentions the people they've lost. Tony makes naughty holograms and Shuri improves on them and they laugh and eat a lot of food. They have a 1% of an idea for a potential proposal for a solution by the end of it.

It’s already dark when he comes out and looking at sky through the windows, he realizes the stars haven't been reduced by half. There's still as many of them as ever.

He stumbles through the palace until a balcony stops him. It has a great view - the city, the mountains and Steve's profile against the starry sky. He's not moving - his arms are crossed and his eyes are set on the horizon, like the marble statue of a legendary guardian against evil.

He's tired and his back aches and his bed would welcome him, but Steve almost looks like before, like all the nights they had and all the nights they didn't.

It's not that that draws him in, it's the way his shoulders are slumped. He's the statue of a legendary guardian, yes, but one that has withstood the trials of age and never-ending battle. There's cracks in the marble and pieces missing.

Tony's not a barber or an artist, he’s just a mechanic. And mechanics fix things.

He takes a step into the balcony and hopes.


End file.
